scrooge

As a special present from Andy, these two photos came to me in an email. It appears I have developed a new disgruntled grandpa smirk, and being the good friend that she is, she thought I should be aware of it.

I assure you this was unconsciously done.

there is no wrong decision

I have an embarrassing admission. When I was a girl I wanted to be a singer. Now I realize this isn’t too silly a notion, you know, a 6 year old kid playing air guitar and lip-syncing to Queen's classics in her fake microphone. My real admission is the fact that I went into glass as my expressive medium thinking I’d outsmart the curse of the starving artist syndrome. My father had made his go at a musical career and retreated back to Thunder Bay when we kiddies came along. I think this knowledge is likely the reason I never went on to study music as a career. I didn’t admire the hard life style, yet I wasn’t about to bow down to the man either and take on a degree I couldn’t get excited about… sooo in all my illogical logic I thought glassblowing would be a much more suitable career choice.

It wasn't until about a year into my design program at Sheridan that I realized I was a complete idiot for thinking there was any difference between being a starving musician artist and being a starving glass artist. They’re both the same, sooo amazingly the same… and even worse, now I have two enormous passions that hold the same amount of importance and difficulty that I have to channel and express myself through in order to feel fulfilled. Wow that’s exhausting. And yet…. exhilarating!

My current life to some may be a complete backwards mess at this point. I could very feasibly still be in a not particularly unhappy relationship; a big somewhat put together home; a steady job I don’t hate with benefits, and likely a lot more money in the bank. And yet, even as I wake up alone in my uncle's basement, most of my things in boxes, no mode of transportation, and a mere week away from being unemployed… one thing scenario #1 has that scenario #2 surprisingly doesn’t have is - doubt. Even more, scenario #2 has somehow guided me to the thing I’d traveled as far as India to try and find again - sweet, wonderful, happiness!

I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to get at here. Had i originally studied music as i likely was too fearful to attempt, I could potentially be a very serious musician or I could have made a few other forks in the road and ended up somewhere completely different. Maybe I needed to pursue glass to build up my starving artist stamina to get to a level where I'm confident enough to attempt music on a more serious note? None of it really matters, I'm exactly where I'm meant to be at this exact moment in time.

I remember asking my Dad for advice growing up. I'd be all panicked and flustered and he'd always respond calmly with 'there is no wrong decision'. To me this was his cop-out way of answering the question without having to answer the question. I'd get irritated, roll my eyes, and walk away. Turns out he knew what he was talking about. Took a bit to sink in but I'm now 2 days away from taking a leap into the unknown world of starving artist again and all i need to really remember is that one piece of advice.